The Rules
Every good bout of Cat Fu begins with The
Stare
(Or possibly an irresistibly twitchy
tail.
Find your opponent. Look at him funny. Possibly spit in his water. The
fight is on!
If this place is only big enough for one of you, it's time to initiate
Move 2 – The Raised Paw
If your opponent doesn't want to play, consider sticking a paw in
his eye.
(Be aware though, that the above action may backfire on your paw.)
This thus begins the main part of Cat Fu – The
Grapple
Consider squeezing him into submission
Grappling may be done from different levels of elevation
An important subsection of The Grapple is The Ear Chew.
Ear chewing features in most
bouts of Cat Fu
But if your opponent is bigger than you, victory may be short-lived.
To win the fight, lie on your back and punch
his head repeatedly. Victory!
When your defeated opponent has slunk off to the background to eat kibble,
start again by finding a passer-by and biting
his neck. (Note – this works best when your Fu partner is much
smaller than you.)
If your opponent is feisty, you may be forced to retreat
If all else fails, eat his head
Fighting Dirty
If you happen to catch your nemesis asleep, have a gnaw
on his tail while you can
Then hide, and wait to pounce
Catch your opponent off-guard by attacking an unexpected place
Or strike while your opponent is is a vulnerable position
Distract your opponent by indicating that there may
be food in the opposite direction. Then swiftly initiate The Grapple.
While he's resting, bite
his nose
Add insult to injury by being rude
If your rudeness fails, yell some really
obscene things about his mum.
When attacking an opponent from an elevated position, take advantage of
the sudden pawstrike to decisively
win the bout and become Top Cat…for 10 minutes at least.
